Post bond now for my future memories

Posted By: Jessa Slade
Currently Working On: Editing out "snorted"s in SEDUCED BY SHADOWS
Mood: Horrified by sheer number of "snorted"s

I have no conference memories since I missed San Fran. Yeah, I’m bitter about it. In order to move on, I’m plotting… uh, planning how I’m going to get to D.C. next year. This is exceedingly important to me because I will be eligible for a First Sale ribbon. I plan on stapling it to my chest. Possibly forever.

But first I need to get to D.C.

Here’s what I figure I need to do to amass the approx. $1,000 needed for registration, airfare, hotel and foo-foo drinks in the hotel bar for my editor and agent, CPs and random conference attendees, any passing male romance cover models, and myself.

In retrospect, let’s make that $1,200.

I found a local medical research company. If I could qualify, it would still take three different studies, one for $700 and a couple for $200. And I might have to fake symptoms for the first one. Is my First Sale ribbon worth skewing years of important data that could cure someone’s fatal disease or at least reduce the appearance of zits? Okay, let’s check the next option before I reveal things about my personality that I’m not too proud of.

Still in a “give my left lung” frame of mind, I also discovered that I could sell my blood plasma. However, I've traveled to China where malaria or hepatatis or something is an issue, so my innards may be worthless. Still, my sweetie and my dog are willing to help. (They don’t know they’re willing to help, but I have a supply of beading needles that should do the trick.) If I start now and drain my CPs too (it’s not like I don’t do that anyway)... Hey, where's everybody going?

Fine. What else? Sell my books to Powells? Never! Give up my monthly bucket o’ cookie dough? Impossible! How important is electrical service to the house? I suppose I need to run my computer, so that’s out.

Crack ATM… Too illegal.
Start pyramid scheme… Too math-like.
Invade Pipelineistan, set self up as petty dictator, corruptly funnel kick-backs to conference kitty… Been done.
Get real job… Shuh, right.

It’s looking like maybe the cover models will have to buy us drinks. But as God is my witness (clench hand dramatically here) I will be in D.C. next year. Too bad I don’t have green velvet curtains; I’m gonna look right peculiar in a ball gown of polyester sheers. Ah well, the First Sale ribbon is big enough to cover anything that could get me arrested, yes?

Hmm, this has the makings for next year’s best conference moment blog.

Please be sure to post here with all your big cash opportunities not directly associated with lonesome Nigerian bankers or Friday-night streetwalking on Sandy & NE 82nd. See you at the bar in D.C.!

Is Darcy Here?

JENNA BAYLEY-BURKE

Currently: Keeping busy with the baby so as not to think about what we'll get to FIRST IMPRESSIONS in due time means in editor speak and getting ideas for a new book. So far I have lawyer jokes, wedding cakes, half a synopsis, Becki Newton and Simon Baker.

Mood: Sadly, still daydreaming of sleep...

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The hotel ballroom was sectioned off into the haves and have nots. Those with editor or agent appointments, and those waiting to pick up the scraps left by writers who failed to show up. The haves showed up twenty minutes before their appointment and stood in one line and then another. The have nots waited on chairs, swarming towards a volunteer who dared approach the hungry mob with news of who had an open seat across the table.

You can imagine the tension buzzing in the room as I waited for my appointment with an editor (for a now defunct line, but that's not the point). I was so relieved to see a local chaptermate. She'd spent the better part of the day in the room, scoring more appointments than my nervous stomach could handle.

She's just began to tell me of her latest chat with an agent whose mere name made my palms sweat when she screamed and jumped at least a foot in the air!

When she landed I looked swiftly for cameras (not a Punked or Candid Camera crew member in sight). As I was scanning the room I noticed where she was pointing...to the floor. There stood proud a cockroach half the size of her shoe!

Oregon is thankfully cockroach deprived, so I nearly let out a yelp of my own. Only every eye in the room staring at the girl who screached kept my own mouth closed. One of the hotel staff sauntered in (surely, a scream qualifies as something you need to run for, but obviously this guy never worked at Les Schwab ). He asked what the problem was and my still breathless friend pointed at the vermin.

"Oh, well, that must have come in one of the boxes of books."

Sure it did. Because there wasn't a book in the room and something that size would have gone unnoticed. Uh-huh.

All I could think to say was, "Could you step on it?"

Hotel service with a crunch. My friend made a bee line out of the room, probably to shower from the experience. I had to pretend all the way through my appointment that I wasn't thinking about roaches!

Is That Where We’re Going This Year?

Susan Lute

Currently working on My Garden, and a single title romance that’s in it’s infant stages.

Mood: Determined. Hoisting myself up by my five inch stiletto sandal straps, and moving on.

There's always a lot to learn at National, but my favorite conference moment happens long before the conference begins. Sometime between October and January each year, I check out the hotel and the city were RWA is having their next National Conference. Most of the time, I decide to go because I fall in love with the hotel, or because I’ve never been to the host city. Okay, yes, I’m an architecture geek. I couldn’t tell you a thing about hotel architectural styles, but I’m easily seduced and always at first sight. This year the conference is being held in San Francisco. Be still my thumping heart.

Since I'm a little challenge in the adding pics from the web department, you have to make due with my humble descriptive efforts. :) This year the conference is being held at the San Francisco Marriott. What’s not to love about a building that soars majestically into the sky like a lovingly shaped mirror, with sun reflecting off it's windows? The lobby is sedate with old world charm; the view from the View lounge breathtaking; the Ballroom reminds me of the Oscars.

My next favorite thing about conference is exploring the hotel and the host city. I’m an avid pedestrian visitor. I love walking the nearby neighborhoods and taking pictures, though this year a ride on the cable cars is a must. Seeing old friends and meeting new ones is part of the lure of conference.

My most favorite memory though, is from New Orleans. It was my first RWA conference and my first visit to the city. Delilah Arhent, now Marvelle, and a few of us from Rose City were sitting in the lobby of the hotel, when a couple of young men started flirting with her and wouldn’t take her I’m not interested signals seriously. Delilah can take care of herself, but I couldn’t resist lending a hand, so I walked up, put my arm around her and ask them what they were up to with my daughter. They blinked. We laughed. New Orleans was fun and I have to say, so far, my favorite host city.