Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Why do I do stupid things? Hmm...

Mood: hopeful
Current WIP: coming of age paranormal

In contemplating this blog, after reading both the serious and funny previous blogs, I thought everything that makes me go hmm are either rules I learned as a child or the truly stupid things I do almost every day of my life. All I can do is say hmmm, laugh, and move on. So here they are.

I hate that saying "Today is the first day of the rest of your life." Oh, I understand about turning your life around and starting over, but please. If that's true, what the hell was yesterday?

I'm perpetually on and off a diet. What I've never figured out is how does eating one pound of something not on the list make me gain 5 lbs? I know it has to do with calories and all that, but really...it's just not fair!

I'm forever trying to organize my life. I know I should just give up and accept that it can't be organized. One of the things I do is go through important papers, or heirloom items and put them in a secure place. The problem is then I can't find it again. Recently, we signed up for a security box in our bank. Of course, we haven't put anything in their yet because I've already forgotten the special pin and I don't want to admit it to them yet.

What does "I was scared half to death" mean? That's one of those phrases I hear a lot from younger people. If it happens again are you then completely dead?

Why is it on the inside I feel 28 years old (and have for a long time) but the outside never agrees? I remember when I was a teenager my grandmother said she was stuck at 26. I thought she was crazy. Now I've joined her. (In the picture on the left do you see a young woman or an old woman?)

Why are the teeth most people get pulled called wisdom teeth? I lost mine at age 19, does that mean the only wisdom I have is whatever was gathered by 19? Sometimes I think it's really true.

To round out the last two I reminisced about what my mother and grandmother passed down to me as daily rules. They all revolved around the liklihood of being hurt and then being embarrassed. Here are my two favorites.

Mother: Be sure to always wear clean underwear in case you have to go to the hospital and the doctor needs to remove it.

Grandmother: Never shave your legs in case you step off the curb and hurt yourself. I cute guy may need to massage your leg to make it better and he doesn't want to feel all that prickliness when the hair starts to grow back.

I'm looking forward to 2009 and a whole new year of doing stupid things. In fact I'm going to bask in stupidity. Truly, it's the only way to remain sane. :)

Happy Holidays everyone. From my house to yours, I wish you many blessings in the coming year. Our wonderful cat, Belle, is in the pic below. She has taken up permanent residence in front of the fireplace this winter.

6 comments:

Delle Jacobs said...

It almost sounds like we grew up together, Maggie! I still have to follow Mom's clean panty rule, which in her case also extended to neatly mended with no hanging bits of lace or frayed elastic.

And I just had a conversation with my youngest daughter, and we both decided we're stuck at mid 30s. Someone evidently did some research and claimed most people get stuck at that age. Maybe it has something to do with personal enlightenment, or when we reach self-actualization. I always thought it was because I think so much about writing young heroines. I'm sure someone must have a good theory, but I don't mind being young forever in my mind.

Delle Jacobs said...

And I love your beautiful Belle, who obviously has a great deal of sense.

Susan Lute said...

Wonderful post, Maggie, and I agree with you. Inside I'm about 32, while on the outside, well...we won't go there. I have many questions like yours too, but I'm too bushed today to explore them :) I love your cat. Mine has spent as much time inside as possible too.

Happy holidays!

Maggie Jaimeson said...

Thanks Delle and Su. It's nice to know I'm not the only "crazy" one. I've decided that cats really have it made--at least cats who live with me. Sleeping 18 hours a day, someone waiting on you hand and foot, and getting the best seat in the house must be heaven.

Today I am ecstatic. It has started to rain instead of snow. Already three to four inches of snow has melted. Now only another foot to go and we will be back to travel readiness. :)

This is the best Christmas present I could ask for this year--especially with youngest son flying in on Saturday. Yipee!

Jessa Slade said...

Ha. I agree about that "today is the first day" thing. But I need to remember the stupid things I did today so hopefully I don't do them tomorrow.

Genene Valleau said...

Gosh, Maggie, I also found myself nodding over some of your items. Was there a mother's manual handed out that gave them that saying about clean underwear? LOL!

Thanks for the fun post!