At the sign of the woot

Posted by: Jessa Slade

Currently working on: Book 2 of The Marked Souls

Mood: Late

I haven't signed my book yet, since it's not out until October, but I have already learned valuable lessons here this month:

• Be able to point out the nearest restroom.
• Bring your own chocolate.
• Seriously consider whether being a signing author actually is preferable to major dental surgery without anesthesia

But I'll have to try it, of course, if only to have my own horror story -- and hopefully an inspirational message too -- to someday share.

For now, all I have in the way of funny booksigning stories is this: I took my XY to a friend's booksigning once. (A male. At a romance booksigning. Yeah, see how that's funny alreayd?) Since my XY is a musician, we see a lot of rock shows. So at the booksigning, when they introduced my friend, my XY wooted. Loudly. Like you'd do in a dark nightclub full of half-deaf hipsters when the amps are already cranked to 9. All the romance ladies around us turned to stare. My XY asked, "Don't writers woot?"

I think the lesson here is we all need to woot more for our signing authors.

So here's your task, a literary rockstar theme song meme I ran across on the web awhile back. It goes a little something like this:

Find a song that sums up what you think it means to be a writer and post the lyrics on your blog and why you've chosen it. It doesn't have to be your favourite song, it just has to express how you feel about writing and/or being a writer. It can be literal, metaphorical, about a particular form or aspect of writing - whatever you want.

My literary rockstar theme song is Fugazi's Waiting Room. For more, click here. So what's yours?

At a perfect booksigning...

Posted by: Genene Valleau
Working on: Promotion for my February 27 release, STARS IN YOUR EYES, and edits on a novella for a Valentine's Day 2010 anthology
Mood: Grateful! Join me at my Web site *www.genenevalleau.com* to celebrate my next release with a new series of contests 

With only a handful booksignings on my ledger, I haven't chalked up too many stories yet--funny or otherwise. One of the signings was at last year's Readers' Luncheon. Two other signings were with a group of authors who write many different kinds of books: mysteries, nonfiction, children's books and more, as well as a couple of us who write romances.

One of those signings wasn't very well attended by the public, so I spent most of the time circulating among the twenty or so authors at the event, chatting about their books and adding to my "to be read" boxes. Though I only sold a couple books, I had a wonderful time and made some new friends.

The next signing with this eclectic group of authors was at a mall before Christmas. The mall had a good number of shoppers moving through, with a variety of reactions that many authors have experienced (went out of their way to walk around us, ignored us as if there weren't eighteen authors sitting at tables, zeroed in on one or two authors, thoughtfully looked at the books of each of the authors, etc.) Again, I sold only a few books, but had a good time talking to the other authors and to the people who did stop by to chat. (The photo shows me with Minnette Meador--seated on the left--and Samantha Waltz--seated on the right.)

Now, since I don't have any actual funny stories to share, I'm going to make up a story about my idea of what a perfect booksigning could be...

I show up early to a beautifully decorated table with my books displayed in generous stacks. The bookseller greets me with a smile and says the huge bouquet of flowers is a small way to say thank you. The booksigning is prominently advertised throughout the store and the rest of the shopping mall. Readers are already in line, avidly reading my books while they wait. I say hello and settle into a luxurious chair with heat and massage controls. Then the real fantasy begins...

Each reader tells an anecdote of how one of my books touched their heart or moved them to tears or helped them to think of a loved one in a more positive light. With each book I sign, I offer a gift from my special booksigning bag, a flower from the bouquet and, often, a hug as each reader drops their name into heart-shaped box for a chance to win a basket brimming with goodies at the end of the day.

As the booksigning winds down, my readers and I relax over an informal buffet, talking of books and how reading has enriched our lives. When the last reader leaves, I realize once again that they have given me a great gift: the knowledge that words do have the power to change lives. Humbled, I take the last remaining flower from the bouquet, thank the bookseller for all her hard work, and go home to my computer. Another story is waiting to be written.

So what's your fantasy booksigning--either as a writer or a reader meeting your favorite author?

Signings funny and not-so

Posted by: Lisa Hendrix

Currently Working On: Immortal Champion and losing 45 pounds

Mood: Exposed (see my new weight-loss blog, New Year, New Ass, and find out why). Also sad (see my regular blog for this one).

I have no funny signing stories of my own, so I'm going to tell one on Stella Cameron that I've heard her tell many times:

Some years ago, Stella was at a group signing in a mall in Washington state.  As per usual, she had set out a bowl of M&Ms by her spot and was merrily signing books when a nice-looking lady came up, picked up the bowl of M&Ms and...wait for it...dumped them into her purse. 

ALL of them.

In her PURSE!

Stella is a genteel English woman, and in her shock and dismay, said nothing at all as the woman walked off. When she recovered, she got more M&Ms, refilled the bowl, and continued signing books.

A little later, the same woman came sauntering back down the mall headed to her car, spotted the fresh M&Ms, and headed for the bowl.  Stella forgot she was a genteel English woman and dove across the table, snatching the M&Ms away just in the nick of time. The woman got huffy. 

With Stella.

Fail...

----

My personal story is a little less, um, amusing:

Years ago, I had a Saturday book signing on an island in Puget Sound which shall not be named in case the store owner is reading this (tho' I doubt the store is still open, and you'll see why).  This book signing had been set up for nearly three months. There had been several phone calls discussing the signing. All was set.  Then my husband was called out of town on business, so I hurriedly made arrangements with a friend on the same island to watch my then-3-year-old son during the signing. I drove 40 miles or so, took a ferry at some expense, then drove another 10 or 15 miles to the bookstore.

Where I found an old, wobbly card table and two books.

Two.  (Note:  at least they hadn't lost them, like they did Heather's)

No tablecloth. No chair. And no freaking ADVERTISING.

Yep, I had schlepped myself and my kid something like 60 car miles and a 40 minute/$6.50 ferry ride (that's 1994 dollars) to a bookstore where they thought two books made a signing. Thank goodness I had been forewarned about such occurrences. Thanks to advice from Debbie Macomber and Linda Lael Miller, I had, in the back of my car, a paper tablecloth, autographed copy stickers, and—the key to success—a dozen books.

I quickly covered the ugly table, made the store owner find me a chair and a not-too-ugly bowl, ran next door for a giant bag of M&Ms,  a la Stella, and proceeded to sell every available copy--basically one to every other person who happened to walk through the door that day.

These days, I travel with stand-up covers and posters, a real tablecloth sized for banquet tables, duct tape to tailor the tablecloth to a smaller table if needed, markers for sign-making, candy and an unbreakable but nice-looking bowl, stickers, promotional materials and giveaways (bookmarks, postcards, etc.), signing pens that don't bleed through the book paper, props according to book, various other things to make the table stand out and/or look nice, and at least a CASE of books, and usually a second case full of backlist books.

Always.  Always, always, always.

Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me.  

Stella taught me that. 

How about you?  What have you learned from a romance author about how to take care of/stand up for yourself?

For the love of books

Mood: hopeful Working on: the coming of age paranormal novel

I'll never forget my first book signing. It was for a science fiction children's book that I wrote in 1978. It was part of a reward program for troubled readers. Written at the 4th grade level, I'll never forget the adulation in those young eyes asking me to sign. But more than that I'll never forget how proud I was of each and every one of those young kids for working so hard. Many of them had come up from a first or second grade level to a fourth grade level in only six months.

My next book signing was for a non-fiction book about online learning. Normally, I don't get to sign my non-fiction books; but in this case I had been invited to give a keynote speech and my books were there. They even set up a special table in the campus bookstore (this was in Tennessee) and I probably sold over 100 books that day.

I think book signings are a great way to connect with your readership. Believe me it is wonderful for an author to actually meet the people who read her books. It makes the process all worth it-- the angst, confidence hurdles, and months or years of waiting for your book to come out.

I did want to share that one of the biggest events for Rose City Romance Writers is coming up in April. It is our Reader's Luncheon where we have lots of authors signing their books, and we give away our profits from the luncheon to help with adult literacy. Our funds this year are going to the Portland Literacy Council. I hope everyone will consider coming. For more information go to the Special Events section of the Rose City Romance Writers website. You can register for the luncheon now!

Here are a few pictures from last year's chapter members who signed at the luncheon. Enjoy!

Mistresses and Pirates, oh my!!!

Working on: Finishing up one series so I can fully focus on another.
Mood: Glorious and ahead of schedule on everything!! Yay me!

My Dearest Readers,

As many of you may know (or may not...) this past year I celebrated the debut of my historical romance, Mistress of Pleasure. Seeing it took me 11 bloody years (and I do mean bloody) to get to a booksigning, you'd best believe I had booksigning fever. If there was an opportunity, I lunged. Even if it meant lunging into another state. Which I did twice. Booksignings, I have to say are quite odd. Because you really never know who is going to show up. Now, I'm not one to sit around and wait for people to deign me with a visit...so along with fellow Kensington author Megan Clark, we pulled together two very unique and entertainingly naughty booksignings. After all, she writes erotica and I write historical romance too hot for anyone with a heart condition to consider. So we dressed up, flapper and 50's style and set out to conquer Port Townsend. And conquer we did. Below is the sort of crowd we drew. Yummy pirates and men. Lots and lots of men. It was the first time in my life I realized men would absolutely LOVE historical romance and erotica if they could get past the covers. Which is really funny because they certainly don't mind the covers put on PLAYBOY. Megan and I read from our books (she actually read sex scenes....which to me, was pretty freakin' bold. Me, I stuck to reading about dildos, which was about as far as I was going to take it...). So while we are reading and the show is going on, men would walk by the glass window, see all the girls dressed up and doing burlesque (without taking everything off, mind you) and let me tell you...they stopped, they watched, then they turned and walked straight into the store and into our trap. We drew quite the crowd and I ended up seling more books to men that day than women.

As wonderful as those booksigning were, I have to say there were two booksignings that will forever be known as memorable to my heart. The first one, was my launch party, which my wonderful, sexy husband put together in a hush, hush manner and surprised me with. Almost the entire Rose City Romance Writer's chapter showed up, friends from my culinary school, friends from the neighborhood, it was amazing. And my hand about fell off by the end of it. But I tell you this, you'll never hear me complaining about the fact that I have to sign my book. I will ALWAYS be up to the task after waiting 11 years to get to do it. My other favorite signing was Emerald City. I had about 75 books on my table. And every single one of them sold. I couldn't believe it. I still don't believe it. Of course, at $3.99, how could anyone resist? To top off selling all those books, one of the gentlemen working at the hotel ran up to me and wanted me to sign his hand. So I did. Let's hope he put it to good use. And DON'T get naughty on me...

This year, my second book, Lord of Pleasure, will be coming out in August and I am planning to do it all over again. Pirates, flappers and all.

Until next time.

Cheers and much love,

Delilah Marvelle

The Grand Booksigning

Even though I'm not yet a senior citizen (getting there at warp speed) I have to admit to a senior moment. I have vivid memories of the booksigning bus tour I participated in years ago, I just don't have a clue how many years ago that was. What I do know is at the time I was writing Native American historicals for Tor/Forge under my real name. One day I got a call from my then agent asking how I'd like to be included in a week-long bus based booksigning blitz. Duh, like yes!!!! Imagine this. Everything about the cost of leaving Oregon and heading for the midwest (I wasn't even sure what constituted the midwest) in May would be picked up by my publisher. After wiping the drool off my face, I ran wildly about the house telling my sons and husband what was going to happen to the woman of the house. My sons allowed as how that meant I'd miss some of their baseball season which they intended to hold over my head. My husband who is from Iowa wanted to know where the bus was going when. Duh, I'd forgotten to ask. He also warned me to take along warm clothes. Warm clothes? It's May. Spring.

So anyway, May rolled around. I jumped on a plane and got off it in Chicago. Now this is one of the places where my memory fogs. I have a vague memory of being met by someone who took me to a motel room where the five other selected writers from other publishers were staying. None of us knew each other or much about the other person's writing, in part because the grocery chain (no longer in existence) that planned the event wanted it to be broad-based with writers from a variety of genres. After that first shy and befuddled evening, we started to bond. And travel in a big tour bus. A lot.

More memories: pulling up at a super grocerystore to find cheering fans waiting with roses and balloons, holding court at the Chicago airport while travelers stared at us probably wondering what weird religion we were pushing, signing at two malls, one of which looked about to close from lack of customers, the other a madhouse of booklovers and signing free copies of my latest until my fingers fell off. We had meals with the grocerystore brass, book wholesalers and reps, and more quiet ones with just us and the fun loving young man who drove us around.

I loved every minute--except for running from one warm building to another with just a light jacket over my shoulders and allowing as how my husband had been right. Spring comes later to the midwest. A final memory which has nothing to do with booksigning. We were entering the outskirts of some town and noting how many people were out mowing their lawns. From the looks of the wintery gray lawns, we concluded that this was the first mowing of the year. The weeds were just getting started.

As a parting comment, I've included the cover of my latest release, Devil Man at Loose-ID. I love the moody-broody cover.

Vonna

www.VonnaHarper.com

Its a Sign by Suzanne Macpherson

Over the years I've helped arrange a ton of signings- for some of the biggest names in our business including a few great authors on this blog, and authors like Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Nora Roberts and Catherine Coulter; all terrific sports.

Nora was truly the most amazing, gracious signer I've ever seen- she signed 200 hardback books and a bucket of backlist during one big event we put on for her- a champagne brunch. She never complained, she signed every single copy of the book long past the time we'd scheduled, so each person had contact with her. She not only wrote the book on writing romance, she wrote the signing book too. Catherine Coulter was also an absolute doll, and taught me to wear bright colors and smile from your heart. Debbie Macomber of course makes each person feel like they are special when they come to talk with her at that table. All really gracious ladies for sure.

What I learned over the years (besides stay close to Nora and get her overrun!) is that my best signings include a few close friends with very similar books, so we can create a kind of PR buzz about what we are offering. Alexa Darin, Kate Austin and I did a media blitz in a rare month when we all had a new book out and it was an absolute blast! When we started out we barely knew each other and by the end we were the sisterhood of the traveling Chocolate. Because as anyone who has ever signed knows, if you bring it, they will come.

I'm busy writing my new YA series as I take a pause from romantic comedy. If I get lucky, maybe someday I can do a signing in the same place Stephanie Meyer did her last one--In Beneroya Hall. CAN YOU IMAGINE??????? LOL Well heck why not imagine, after all, we write fiction! Hhmm that would call for a NEW DRESS!

Book Signing Follies (with apologies to Jenna)

Working on: A Historical Western
Mood: Damn the Torpedoes, Full Speed Ahead

Ah, the booksigning. The chance for an author to meet her readers or make new ones. A moment to emerge from the cubbyhole office and enjoy the “glamorous” side of the writing business in a mall or a brick-and-mortar bookstore.

“Do you know where the restrooms are?”
“I’m looking for a dictionary. Where can I find them?”
“You know, these books really give women a distorted idea of what a relationship is like.”
“I can’t believe anyone buys this kind of junk.”
“Hah! I outsmarted the bookstore and got your book used for fifty cents. Will you sign it?”
“Is Sears around here?”
“Where do you get your ideas?”
“I’ve got a great idea for a story but I don’t have the patience to write it. If I tell it to you . . . ”
“Will you look at my manuscript?”
“How did you get your agent?”
“I don’t read THESE books.”
“The manager didn’t tell me there was a booksigning today. We don’t have your title in stock.” But I came here to San Antonio for this. It was all arranged. Is the manager here? “Sorry.”

Yes, friends, we’ve all heard these and more.

In fact, early in my career I wrote for the Topaz imprint at Penguin. Some of you might remember the Topaz Man in all his puffy-shirted glory, a marketing creation to compete with Fabio. I did a booksigning sitting beside him at the Women’s Fair at the Portland Convention Center. The come-on was buy a book and have your photo taken with Steve Sandalis, the Topaz cover model. Females of all ages lined up like it was the Running of the Brides Day at Filene’s Basement. It was thrilling! All these people eager to read the story I had labored over for six months.

I thought.

“Oh, Steve, sign your book for me!”
“Steve, where do you get your ideas?”
“I’ve got a great idea for a story but I don’t have the patience to write it. If I tell it to you . . . ”
“How do you find time to write and model too?”
And best of all: “Why is that woman signing YOUR books?”
I was the fly in the ointment.
Then, of course, there were the times when no one showed up. The bookstore manager, wringing his/her hands, offered, “Well, it’s a nice day, so people are probably out in their yards.” Or, “It’s raining. That always slows down business.”

One of my favorite memories (now) was a signing I did at Rolling Oaks Mall on a different trip to San Antonio. It was a Friday evening in early December, 1997. I figured business would be good, people out doing some early Christmas shopping, You could have fired a cannon through that place and not hit anything or anyone. I was scheduled to be there for two hours (hidden next to the dictionaries) and I swore the clock was running backward. Though I tried in vain to make eye contact with the few people who came through, I did not speak to one shopper. Toward the end of this interminable event, a store employee finally said, “You know, I think everyone is downstairs at the multiplex to see that new movie. Uh, something about the Titanic. The lines were really long.”

I was furious with James Cameron for snatching my own little contributing piece to the entertainment industry until I saw the movie. Then I forgave him for everything and privately thanked him. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve watched it, but it still makes me cry.

Of course, the best part about booksignings is that they aren’t all stinkers. I’ve talked to people who’ve enjoyed my work and have been a great privilege to meet. People who gave me the courage and will to forge on because they love my stories. Sometimes they are the ones who will keep an author moving forward when everything else seems to be going wrong.

I’ve always said yes to a store manager’s request to do an in-store, and I always will.

Book Signings

HEATHER HIESTAND/ANH LEOD

Currently: Working on the third book in my (Anh Leod) Cherokee series, "Story-of-the-ever-changing-name" - also celebrating the print release of my (Heather Hiestand) first contemporary romance, Cards Never Lie, at Amazon! Search for "Cards Never Lie" at Amazon and I pop up! Yeah!

Mood: Torn...when you have very little energy, is it even harder to work on commercial projects vs. book of your heart projects? When do you draw the line between getting nothing much done or getting a little more done but nothing that's going to pay actual money?

Heather's Signing Experience - a cautionary tale?

I don't have much experience with book signings. Being small press and mostly e-press at that, book signings are an exercise in frustration. My first book signing (which was for my second print anthology a couple years ago) was a huge production. I literally drove four plus hours through a bad storm to get to the store, and they had lost the two copies of my book that they had purchased. Yes, this was a major chain. I had to sit there and smile for hours like my heart wasn't breaking. The worst was my friends and family who came to support me but I had nothing to sell them. They weren't going to go home and buy the book off the Internet later either. The storm was so bad that most of the area had no power and there was no gas in the stations until I got close to home. So, I didn't want to try that again any time soon.

Since then I've done booksignings with my own copies of my books, hampered by an inability to take credit cards, and one booksigning for others where I didn't even know I'd be signing until I saw my books. I also had an interesting experience where I sat next to a new male author who already had actual groupies. That was unnerving and and brings up an entirely different topic on why male writers get so much more respect than female authors. All in all, I believe the best I've ever done in signings is about five sales. I usually sell two copies.

When you are small or e-press, you know you have to hand sell most copies of your books (unless it's erotic romance) and you have to decide if your psyche, pocketbook and time management is up to the task of public signings. I'm really impressed with those who make it work, but I'm an introvert at heart and usually too poor to spend money on signings. No Virginia, book signings aren't free. Transportation, promo materials, chocolate etc. don't fall off trees, much less conferences and hotel rooms.

Enough honesty for one day, I'm off to fantasize about hot mythological men!

.Book Signings--All part of the job!

Terri Reed

Currently working on: an inspirational romantic suspense titled Chasing Shadows, due in March coming out in December 2009
Mood: Relaxed-but the week is just starting

Here I am with fellow RCRW author Shirley Karr. This was at the Sellwood Public Library for their Romance day.

I wish I had some funny tales to dazzle you all with but I don't. I have some irritating tales, hmmm, not what you want to hear about.

Book signings are part of the authors job. With each new release I look for avenues to promote my books, sometimes that's through signings. I prefer to do signings with other authors. It makes the time pass more quickly. A large group of authors will draw in more readers and hopefully boost sales. One thing I like about signings when there is a big group is to watch the expressions of the shoppers as they move from one author to another, that can be comical, especially when the whole gamet of the romance genre is represented from inspirational to contemporary to historical to light or dark paranormal to erotic. Some shoppers just take a piece of free chocolate (always have to have chocolate at signings), some stop to ask questions (usually "where's the bathroom?") and others might actually read the back blurb (that's the cue for the verbal pitch which sometimes requires explaining the genre and of course offering to sign the book for them).

Well, back to writing so I'll have a book to sign next December.

Happy New Year everyone!

Book signing funnies...

JENNA BAYLEY-BURKE

Currently: Thankful the small ones are napping and the big one is at chess club...

Mood: Torn...do I dare start something new or wait for the editor to give me feedback on that lawyers book I've been yapping about for months...

--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~

I wish I'd done enough book signings to have a funny story. I feel like I'm sleeping at the wheel here...

I had a great time at the Lincoln City Book Fair with Terri Reed (who's kids were bored), Megan Clark (who brings great props), and Minnette Meador (who's chocolates melted)...but nothing was really comic...unless you count my book sales.

It was a gorgeous day on the coast, one of the few warm ones of the summer. My baby was wee small, so I trekked the whole family there and she got to see the ocean for the first time. My boys played in the surf, my skin picked up the kiss of summer, and the baby slept through most of the event.

Romance Author's Night at Powell's was fun too. Authors came down from Seattle, so I was able to catch up with them and show off the baby (again in tow)...Megan brought fun props again, Minnette's chocolate stayed solid, Delilah Marvelle signed her debut...I talked knit baby hats with Elizabeth Boyle, but didn't sell many books...

Next time I'll do something outrageous so I'll have a better story...and maybe even sell a few copies!

Who says men don't read romance?

Currently Working On: Keenan's Dilemma, Paranormal Romantic Comedy

There I was sitting at Borders in Tacoma, minding my own business, watching the tumbleweeds move passed the magazine section, when this clean cut young man sauntered up to the table. It had been dead in the store for the last hour or so and I was contemplating the long trip back to Portland, so I was completely surprised when he grabbed not a copy of Starsight (which young men usually grab), but a copy of The Centurion & The Queen.

I looked up at him and said, "Just to warn you, that's a romance."

He shot a quick smile my way and went back to reading the back of the book, not an embarrassed bone in his body.

A couple of ladies came up to the table and I got distracted. When I looked back, the young man was gone, so I didn't think much more of it until I heard a voice off to my side.

"Cool story. I love Roman history," he said, still holding the copy of the book.

"Me, too. The book is actually written from the Roman's point of view and a couple of the fight scene were choreographed by ARMA," I said, trying to justify why a man would want to read it.

"I'm a soldier," he said and my heart paused a moment. "I'm stationed at Fort Lewis, but I'm shipping out next week to Iraq." He handed me the book. "Can you sign this for me?"

"Sure. Who do you want me to make it out to," I said thinking it was for his girlfriend or wife.

"Make it out to me. My name's Kevin," he said boldly.

Impressed by his audacity, I took the book from him, wrote Thank you for what you do, signed it, then handed it back to him. "Here's my card; if you'll send me your address, I'll make sure you get some other books. I just want to tell you how much I appreciate what you do."

"Thanks." He flashed that wonderful smile at me again and turned to go pay for his book.

As he left, I guess I got something in my eyes; they were leaking a bit. I stopped them with a quick wipe and went onto the next reader.

Just goes to show you that romance is not only for women...if a warrior can buy a romance book, then why can't our husbands?

Food for thought...

Minnette Meador
www.minnettemeador.com
http://minnettemeador.blogspot.com
2008 Releases:
Starsight, Vol. I, Starsight, Vol. II, The Centurion & The Queen
The Edge of Honor, A Cup of Comfort for Single Mothers

A New Critic Is Born

Delle Jacobs

Currently Working on: Synopsis for Sidhe

Mood: Excited over APHRODITE'S BREW print release at the last of this month, and getting my author copies! But no time for Snoopy-dancing. Too much else to do.

I am a bit of a loss for a subject since I can't recall any funny things that happened at booksignings.
But I have a story from this last weekend to share.

After all that snow, we finally got to go up north for our annual Christmas visit with kids and grandkids. Two of the grandkids are my step-son's daughters, Gabrielle, almost 7, and Elizabeth, almost 5. It's good to see they are finally settling down with some actual manners, and they're quite bright. And they zip around their Auntie Pam's tiny house like bouncing bolts of lightning.

I had brought one of my author copies of APHRODITE for Pam, and just as I pulled it out of my tote, Gabrielle snatched it out of my hand.

"What's that?"

Considering the slightly racy cover, I took it back. "It's a book for your Auntie Pam," I replied. "I wrote it and I wanted her to have a copy."

That didn't stop brash Gabrielle. She grabbed it back. "You did? Can I read it?"

I breathed relief as she went right past the cover and started thumbing the pages. "It's not a children's book. It's for Auntie Pam."

"I'll give it to her." Off she dashed like careening lightning again, and handed the book to her auntie. "It's from Gramma Delle. She wrote it."

"Oh, that's nice," said Pam. But before she could even see the autograph, Gabrielle grabbed it back.

"I want to read it," Gabrielle announced. Nothing could dissuade her, and since I knew she wouldn't get far, or find anything racy, we decided to let her show off her skills.

"'The eee-aaaaaa-rr-' ear?"

"Earl. That's sort of like a job for a man who has lots of properties."

With a skeptical look, she continued. "'Of Vaaaaaaaa-'"

"Vailmont. That's the name of his property."

"That's a funny name. " She continued. "'-sat-in-his-breakfast-' he sat in his breakfast?"

"His breakfast room. It's a place to eat breakfast."

"Why don't you just say kitchen?"

"It's more like a dining room because you don't cook there."

"Oh. 'Breakfast-room-and-held-his-coffff-eeeee-cup-be-fore-his-face-'" She took a big breath as if to let me know my sentences were too long-winded. "'savvvvv-orrrrr-ing-' what's that?"

"Savoring. It's like enjoying." That was obviously another word I had mis-used.

"'Savoring-the- heeee-aaad-ee-'"

"Heady. It means sort of like really good."

"Why don't you use the right words?" But she shrugged and went on. Already she had been at it longer than I had expected. "'-Aaa-ro-ma-'"

"Aroma. It means smell."

"I knew that. 'Aroma-and-wish-ing-his-mother-in-the Soooth?'"

"South. South of France. It's a faraway place."

"Oh. Couldn't you write a book about Seattle?"

"Maybe someday. But this one is about England."

"You said South of France."

"Well, that's just another place I mentioned in the book." I figured she'd give up now. I mis-calculated.

"'That-was-not-kind-of-him.'" Big frown, but she sighed and went on. "'There-was-a-war-going- on,- after- all. Deep-est- deepest- Afff-ri-'"

"Africa."

I know about Africa," she grumbled impatiently. "'Africa-would-have-to-do.'" She snapped the book shut.

"You read very well," I said.

Her pretty rosebud lips pursed tightly. "That doesn't make any sense."

"Well, it's not a book for children, and I think you'd have to learn some things, maybe some more history, before it made sense to you.

With her deepest frown yet, Gabrielle handed the book back to her Auntie Pam and turned to me. "I think you should write a better book," she said.

The power in the family has spoken.

Posted by: Susan Lute
Currently working on: A new single title romance, for fun, called Pine Tree Mood: Munchy. Coming off holiday sugar is a pain.

So, this is the third day in the first month of 2009, and the topic of this blog is funny stories about book signings. Book signings can either be a heck of a lot of fun, or for some, just plan miserable, especially if the author is an introvert and not much into people outside of the category of reader. For me book signings fall under the heading of fun. I love meeting people, especially at book signings. I love meeting readers. I love being a reader. I love going to other author’s book signings. I plain old love the whole scene.

Okay, there’s too much love going on around here, and I guess it’s time to confess, you’re not going to find a funny story here. I don’t think I’ve had a funny happening at a book signing, but I do think the pen is an important element of a fun book signing. At my very first one, I got to Borders and realized I didn’t have a pen. Not a special pen. A writer without a special pen for their signing is unheard of, right? Unbeknown (I love this word) to me, my husband and daughter went next door and came back with the perfect pen. A purple one that I used for many years after just to sign my books. Tears fell. Yes, they were mine.

I went to a book signing once for Janet Evanovich. I was the two-hundred and something person in line. I asked her how she was holding up signing so many books. She had her perfect pen, and a lot of Ibuprofen on board to keep the cramps away.

In a perfect world, at a ridiculously fun book signing, the author would be surrounded by her best buds, her family, her adoring readers. A tall stack of her books would dominate the table. Chocolate would be disappearing at her elbow. Her adoring fans would be lined up around her, down the isle, well into the mystery section, and out the door, spilling onto the sidewalk. In her hand she’d be wielding the perfect pen. And, she’d be having the time of her life.

So, until my next book signing, at which I will be jumping up and down waving a brand new perfect pen...

Ciao.

Upcoming Events

Wednesday, January 7th
6-9pm

Launch Party!

Launch party for Elisabeth Naughton's debut romantic suspense novel, STOLEN FURY
Blue Pepper Cafe in downtown Salem
open to the public, food and drinks provided. (Plus a no-host bar.)

January 10-11, 2009

Rose City Romance Writers
Winter Retreat
with Alicia Rasley

Saturday, January 10th--9am to 4pm with one hour for lunch Room at PCC is HT 123The High-Concept Proposal-- Power Up Your First Three Chapters, Your Synopsis, and Your Query Letter

Sunday, January 11th--9am to 4pm with one hour for lunch Room at PCC is ST 101 Top Ten Reasons Your Next Book is not Contracted